clever status

clever status

• "Is wondering how long she must stand on the front lawn with no clothes on, waiting for Google Earth to come and take her picture"

• "Two things are infinite : the universe and human stupidity; I?m not sure about the universe."

• Don't call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"

• "Don't you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?"

• "If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes."

• "There is no chance unless you take one"

• "Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird. Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away."

• "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak"

• "When i scream in a Library, everyone just looks at me, but if i scream on a plane, everyone joins in."

• "Whenever There Is a Hard Job To Be Done. Always Assign It To a Laziest Man As He's Sure To Find An Easy Way Of Doing It."

• "A Bachelor is one who never chases a woman he couldn't outrun."

• "Makeup can make you look pretty on the outside. But it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside."

• "If you want to be TOGETHER you have TO-GET-HER"

• "Who does everyone listen to and no one believe? The weatherman."